Social Anxiety: Understanding the Fear and Finding Your Way Out

What Is Social Anxiety?

Nearly all of us can feel a little awkward in stressful situations. But for some people, that self-consciousness and shyness are so intense that they amount to a genuine anxiety disorder -- known as social anxiety or social phobia.

Social anxiety is defined as "a clear and persistent fear before and during various social situations that require any form of interaction with other people."

It can appear even around familiar people -- for example, with family members at holiday meals or family events, and even with colleagues in the workplace.

Social anxiety belongs to the family of anxiety and phobic disorders. It is characterized by feelings of pressure, tension, and excessive nervousness in situations where the person fears being examined, evaluated, or criticized by someone else. Those who suffer from it tend toward extreme reactions and experience noticeable impairment in daily functioning.

Research indicates that at least 5% of the population -- both children and adults -- suffer from social anxiety.

The Avoidance Trap

Activities that seem routine for most people feel "threatening" to those with social anxiety -- going to a restaurant, attending parties, chatting with acquaintances or strangers, eating in public, and more.

The way most people with social anxiety choose to deal with the perceived threat is by avoiding those situations entirely, and in the process, avoiding interaction with others.

This damages their ability to live a normal life and realize their potential socially, professionally, and in personal relationships.

The snowball effect of avoidance only makes things worse and can even push people with social phobia into severe depression.

What Causes Social Phobia?

Hereditary Factors

Social anxiety has a genetic basis: people with social phobia often have first- or second-degree relatives who also experience the condition.

Biological Factors

Research has demonstrated a link between the development of anxiety and a chemical imbalance in the brain (excessive release of norepinephrine).

Psychological Factors

People who are highly sensitive, have low self-image, lack self-confidence, or experience intrusive thoughts have a higher risk of developing social phobia.

Environmental Factors

Negative past events and life circumstances -- social ostracism, betrayal of personal trust, overprotective parenting, and similar experiences -- also contribute to the development of social anxiety.

Symptoms of Social Anxiety

The symptoms of social phobia are naturally very similar to those of other anxiety and phobic disorders. According to official diagnostic criteria, the following signs characterize the disorder:

Emotional and Cognitive Symptoms

• Intense anxiety about everyday social situations
• Anticipatory anxiety that appears long before (and after) a stressful social event
• Fear that others will notice your nervousness
• Fear of acting in ways that will embarrass or humiliate you
• Worry about negative judgment by others ("stupid," "boring")
• Avoidance of any social situation due to intense distress before each event -- stemming from fear of rejection, fear of failure in front of an audience, or fear of ridicule

Physical Symptoms

• Rapid heartbeat
• Excessive sweating or hot flashes
• Blushing and confusion
• Stomach upset
• Trembling in the body and voice
• Shortness of breath
• Chest tightness
• Dizziness
• Nausea

Behavioral Symptoms

• Avoiding social situations (group meetings, parties, etc.)
• Needing to bring a friend to social events
• Substance use issues (alcohol, drugs) as a coping mechanism

A person may be found in a state of distress well before the actual event -- to the point of paralysis and inability to function in daily life. This affects life at home, in social circles, and at work.

These symptoms are considered a persistent disorder if they recur consistently over six months or more (in adults).

CBT Treatment for Social Anxiety

The most effective way to address social anxiety is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). In very severe cases, it may be recommended to combine CBT with medication.

The goal of CBT is to "change distorted, unrealistic thinking patterns" and to gradually expose you to real-world social situations that you have previously chosen to avoid.

The Cognitive Component

The most important aspect of the cognitive component is identifying difficult thoughts and extreme thinking patterns that trigger anxiety symptoms. In other words: when do you fall into negative thoughts that cause distress? What are the negative thinking patterns that disrupt your functioning and damage your quality of life?

Identifying these thought patterns makes it possible, in the next stage, to examine the negative thoughts against reality and reason, and to gradually replace them with constructive, positive thinking.

The Behavioral Component

In the behavioral component, you receive tools for real-world coping with the situations that trigger distress, along with techniques for managing the distress itself if it arises.

The exposure is, of course, very gradual and paced individually. Every step is supported until you build the strength and ability to independently handle situations that previously caused anxiety.

Advantages of CBT for Social Anxiety

• CBT is effective, focused, and short-term (typically three to six months)
• Instead of analyzing past events, CBT helps you deal practically with present-day conflicts
• You are actively involved in your treatment and can evaluate and measure your progress
• Treatment is gradual and non-threatening, adjusted to each person's pace and preferences
• CBT helps you adopt a healthier lifestyle and discover a new, better, less alienated world

Social anxiety doesn't have to define your life. If avoidance has become your default, it's time to try something different. Our free mini-course walks you through proven CBT techniques for social anxiety -- step by step, at your own pace, from the comfort of home.